Eye Of The Tiger
-Survivor
Tonight's Heavyweight Main Event...The Evil Eye vs The Hardhead
Something very strange has been happening lately, hmmm.
Most people that know me know that despite my middle-Eastern roots, I laugh, scoff, and sometimes even snort at the concept of the Evil Eye, much to the dismay of my family and friends. As if rejecting its very existence would bring the Eye's wrath down upon my head!
Silly, silly thing this Eye business.
Well a few months ago, when we bought our first house, this presented the perfect occasion for my family and my in-laws to give me (what can only be described as) eye charms *blue, eye-shaped glass objects that are supposed to ward off the effects of the Eye. I accepted these tokens of protection politely while containing my snorts, stuffed it into my coat pocket, and forgot about it.
Now Pacino (my husband) is a believer of the Evil Eye scam whereas the only Evil Eye I ever feared was the one that pursued 4 little hobbits throughout Middle Earth...but recent events have led me to wonder, is the Eye's gaze truly upon me or am I just the victim of a series of coincidental mishaps?...hmm...
It all started a few weeks ago when Pacino woke up one morning and discovered a lovely expression of rebellious youth running along half the length of his car in the form of a key scratch...damn those punks! Well, needless to say, he was very distressed about his baby's condition but we shrugged it off as just plain stupid (insert Joe Pesci accent here) yutes.
The next day, the chimney sweeper passed by to inspect our chimney, and lucky for us this guy was an amateur botanist. As he's leaving, he glances at our pathetic excuse of a lawn and says "your lawn is infested by chinchbugs". Chinchbugs, what the hell is that, never heard of it! He cuts a chunck of grass and exposes the bottom and wouldn't you know it, a bunch of stinky crappy bugs were having a grand old time on my lawn like it was a 2 for 1 lunch-buffet. I guess that would explain the unsightly brown patches and the fact that our lawn doesn't GROW (only mowed once this summer!). We gazed longingly at all our neighbors' properties with their pristine emerald lawns, shrugged ours off as being just one of those uncontrollable nature things and proceeded to find a lawn doctor in the yellow pages.
The following day, Pacino's out vacuuming the pool when a groundhog saunters nonchalently by, practically waves hello, and proceeds to squeeze his plump little body through a 2-inch gap in the pavement that surrounds the pool. Al freaked and proclaimed that he would not rest until our furry little guest had gone, for fear that it would dig through the tarp and damage the pool. The SPCA suggested fumigating him out of there with some ammonia. I on the other hand was adamant that the problem could be resolved the following day (I was being lazy again and all the hardware stores were closed by this time). He insisted it had to be taken care of immediately (which meant that I'd have to drive to work on Sunday evening for the ammonia, which pissed me off), then we argued and I walked out to go get it, slamming the door in the process. It seems that I slammed strong enough that it prompted the groundhog to come out of its hiding place and scamper off. Al covered the hole with a tile and waited to give me the good news upon my return. Needless to say, after brewing and churning the whole way to work and back, my Sunday evening was $%&*ed. Once again, I attributed this to a bad luck nature thing.
The next few days brought upon us more news of more infestations around our house. To my absolute horror (being the arachnaphobe that I am) I have the terrible luck of having a spider infestation in my backyard, as well as a flying ant infestation (we just discovered this one yesterday, as the entire pool was covered by these winged pests). It seems that the discovery channel could have a field-day documenting the insect ecosystem thatI'm supporting in my back yard. I thought this probably could be easily solved due to my easy access to an inventory of chemicals that could easly wipe-out these colonies, but pesky bylaws and personal ethics are still holding me back, although sooner or later, those spiders might make me crack!
LEt's continue...last week, a terrible thunderstorm was brewing right above our heads, and wouldn't you know it, water starts leaking from the bottom of the main door, as well as half the windows in the house, the sump pump in the basement was disfunctional and we discovered wetness in the basement near the pump.....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHH!!! The last thing I need is a friggin leaky house. (The inspector had told us to re-caulk all our windows and doors but we had no clue how urgent a situation this was!). Then, just as the rain subsides and we sit down for supper, lighning hits a transformer 2 houses down from us, and there goes the power. We start digging in our mountain of boxes (we still haven't unpacked half our stuff since the move) looking for where the candles might be (all this in the dark), swearing, putting towels at the windows and doors.....obviously, by the time things settled, we had a cold supper and were out of power for the next 24 hours...grrrrrr!
During all this, I was getting hints from those around me that mayhaps I should consider that all these coincidental mishaps might be an indication of the Evil Eye's existence, but I refused to listen...
Then, last friday...
I'm innocently working in my lab, I slide open the sliding glass panels behind which my beakers are kept, and wham!!! the glass panel tilts forward, runs off its track and falls smack on my head, bouncing off my head onto my shoulder then crashing to the floor into smithereens. OY! That hurt. Lucky for me the bloody thing didn't break on my head but instead exploded as it hit the ground or else I'd have shards of glass embedded in my head! A nice little bruise developed as well as a headache, but no concussion or anything like that. It WAS JUST A FREAK ACCIDENT, I tell you.
Well, all that this did was to CONFIRM 2 things that my husband has always claimed. The first one being that I have a horseshoe up my ass, which would account for not getting hurt when the panel fell on my head, the other being that I AM A DAMNED HARDHEAD, and no one can convince me that the Evil Eye exists, not even the Evil Eye, so HA!
The Evil Eye can kiss my ass.
E.E., you thought it was a TKO, but Round 1 goes to the HardHead!
Most people that know me know that despite my middle-Eastern roots, I laugh, scoff, and sometimes even snort at the concept of the Evil Eye, much to the dismay of my family and friends. As if rejecting its very existence would bring the Eye's wrath down upon my head!
Silly, silly thing this Eye business.
Well a few months ago, when we bought our first house, this presented the perfect occasion for my family and my in-laws to give me (what can only be described as) eye charms *blue, eye-shaped glass objects that are supposed to ward off the effects of the Eye. I accepted these tokens of protection politely while containing my snorts, stuffed it into my coat pocket, and forgot about it.
Now Pacino (my husband) is a believer of the Evil Eye scam whereas the only Evil Eye I ever feared was the one that pursued 4 little hobbits throughout Middle Earth...but recent events have led me to wonder, is the Eye's gaze truly upon me or am I just the victim of a series of coincidental mishaps?...hmm...
It all started a few weeks ago when Pacino woke up one morning and discovered a lovely expression of rebellious youth running along half the length of his car in the form of a key scratch...damn those punks! Well, needless to say, he was very distressed about his baby's condition but we shrugged it off as just plain stupid (insert Joe Pesci accent here) yutes.
The next day, the chimney sweeper passed by to inspect our chimney, and lucky for us this guy was an amateur botanist. As he's leaving, he glances at our pathetic excuse of a lawn and says "your lawn is infested by chinchbugs". Chinchbugs, what the hell is that, never heard of it! He cuts a chunck of grass and exposes the bottom and wouldn't you know it, a bunch of stinky crappy bugs were having a grand old time on my lawn like it was a 2 for 1 lunch-buffet. I guess that would explain the unsightly brown patches and the fact that our lawn doesn't GROW (only mowed once this summer!). We gazed longingly at all our neighbors' properties with their pristine emerald lawns, shrugged ours off as being just one of those uncontrollable nature things and proceeded to find a lawn doctor in the yellow pages.
The following day, Pacino's out vacuuming the pool when a groundhog saunters nonchalently by, practically waves hello, and proceeds to squeeze his plump little body through a 2-inch gap in the pavement that surrounds the pool. Al freaked and proclaimed that he would not rest until our furry little guest had gone, for fear that it would dig through the tarp and damage the pool. The SPCA suggested fumigating him out of there with some ammonia. I on the other hand was adamant that the problem could be resolved the following day (I was being lazy again and all the hardware stores were closed by this time). He insisted it had to be taken care of immediately (which meant that I'd have to drive to work on Sunday evening for the ammonia, which pissed me off), then we argued and I walked out to go get it, slamming the door in the process. It seems that I slammed strong enough that it prompted the groundhog to come out of its hiding place and scamper off. Al covered the hole with a tile and waited to give me the good news upon my return. Needless to say, after brewing and churning the whole way to work and back, my Sunday evening was $%&*ed. Once again, I attributed this to a bad luck nature thing.
The next few days brought upon us more news of more infestations around our house. To my absolute horror (being the arachnaphobe that I am) I have the terrible luck of having a spider infestation in my backyard, as well as a flying ant infestation (we just discovered this one yesterday, as the entire pool was covered by these winged pests). It seems that the discovery channel could have a field-day documenting the insect ecosystem thatI'm supporting in my back yard. I thought this probably could be easily solved due to my easy access to an inventory of chemicals that could easly wipe-out these colonies, but pesky bylaws and personal ethics are still holding me back, although sooner or later, those spiders might make me crack!
LEt's continue...last week, a terrible thunderstorm was brewing right above our heads, and wouldn't you know it, water starts leaking from the bottom of the main door, as well as half the windows in the house, the sump pump in the basement was disfunctional and we discovered wetness in the basement near the pump.....AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHH!!! The last thing I need is a friggin leaky house. (The inspector had told us to re-caulk all our windows and doors but we had no clue how urgent a situation this was!). Then, just as the rain subsides and we sit down for supper, lighning hits a transformer 2 houses down from us, and there goes the power. We start digging in our mountain of boxes (we still haven't unpacked half our stuff since the move) looking for where the candles might be (all this in the dark), swearing, putting towels at the windows and doors.....obviously, by the time things settled, we had a cold supper and were out of power for the next 24 hours...grrrrrr!
During all this, I was getting hints from those around me that mayhaps I should consider that all these coincidental mishaps might be an indication of the Evil Eye's existence, but I refused to listen...
Then, last friday...
I'm innocently working in my lab, I slide open the sliding glass panels behind which my beakers are kept, and wham!!! the glass panel tilts forward, runs off its track and falls smack on my head, bouncing off my head onto my shoulder then crashing to the floor into smithereens. OY! That hurt. Lucky for me the bloody thing didn't break on my head but instead exploded as it hit the ground or else I'd have shards of glass embedded in my head! A nice little bruise developed as well as a headache, but no concussion or anything like that. It WAS JUST A FREAK ACCIDENT, I tell you.
Well, all that this did was to CONFIRM 2 things that my husband has always claimed. The first one being that I have a horseshoe up my ass, which would account for not getting hurt when the panel fell on my head, the other being that I AM A DAMNED HARDHEAD, and no one can convince me that the Evil Eye exists, not even the Evil Eye, so HA!
The Evil Eye can kiss my ass.
E.E., you thought it was a TKO, but Round 1 goes to the HardHead!
posted by Janjik at 6:03 PM
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