Get The Party Started

Everybody's waiting for me to arrive.
I'm coming up so you better get this party started...
- Pink

After much anticipation, my little godson made his grand entrance into this world. After a long and arduous day for Mom and Dad, he is a little treasure for them to cherish, absolutely adorable. For the last week, it seemed we were all on pins and needles, excited, nervous, waiting for the show to start, waiting for him to arrive and get the party started...

It was the first time Pacino got to hold a child that tiny (actually, it was my first time too!) and I think he was a little smitten. I know he’ll be a great dad one day, but I don’t know if we’re mentally ready for that... In fact, I don’t think anyone can be mentally ready to become a parent. Even with 9 months to ponder over the enormity of it all, it’s hard to fathom that every detail of that child’s survival is dependent on your ability to supply it ...Talk about pressure...

But it seems like everyone is up to the task and enjoying it. No matter how exhausting it can be, they keep telling me it’s all worth it, I just have to wonder...am I ready to give up my independence? Am I being selfish? Up until now, we were kind of putting off the whole parenthood thing until the house renos were done, but now that we’re almost at that threshold, am I prepared for such a challenge? I feel like there are so many things that I have to do before that happens, but then again, the clock is ticking and I do want kids. There was a time, many years ago, when I used to work at a fertility clinic (earning my way through university), and after working there for 2 years I became majorly paranoid thinking - what if I can’t get pregnant one day when I want to, could I go through this heartache? After all, month after month, I would see those same patients marching in and out of the clinic trying to get pregnant. Back then it seemed to me that women spent their whole single sex life trying to avoid getting pregnant, and then spent their married sex life doing everything in their power to get it to happen. How ironic life can be. Now that all my friends are either getting pregnant, thinking about getting preggers, or are about to pop, it seems that all those paranoid thoughts are niggling their way into my brain again. What if...what if..?
What if I just let nature take its course...